Let me preface this by saying I absolutely adore Emily Henry’s romances. However, People We Meet on Vacation was never quite it for me, and I think that’s because I read it when it came out so soon after a breakup, and the friends to lovers trope felt like a fantasy to me.
So when People We Meet on Vacation came to the screen, featuring Tom Blythe and Emily Bader, of course I was going to watch it. I re-read the book last year, thinking perhaps my feelings about it might have changed with the passage of time. But they hadn’t. I appreciate that the film adaptation injects more comedy into the fateful car ride home from college that sealed the deal between Poppy and Alex. And I like the fact that it didn’t touch on every vacation Poppy and Alex went on in the book. It picked a few of the most memorable ones and really explored their time together as two messy souls with nothing and everything in common at the same time. It was less chaotic that way. Cue my Vogue-inspired sentiments.
“Home is where the person you love is, no matter where it is.”
I think my understanding of this line has changed. At first I thought it meant romantic love, but it doesn’t have to. Family is where my home is. After a few months of living in New Zealand on my own, there was nothing I wanted more than my family. I went to Australia for Christmas, and usually, like Alex, I would have a detailed itinerary. This time, all I wanted was to spend time with my family.
However, in the context of the film, this line is meant to suggest that Poppy and Alex are home for each other, and that doesn’t resonate with me. They’re the very best of friends yet polar opposites. This was me and my ex. They realized they were in love, but what Alex does right is tell her that they are incompatible. They want different things from life and he doesn’t want to stop her from living her life. When they decide to be together, they both have to make sacrifices for each other. She has to learn to be more content sitting still, and he has to learn to wander. Love is choosing to grow together, not asking someone to sacrifice everything.
“You think you’re running towards the life you want but you’re running away.”
Years ago, I ran away, and I came home. I gave up that wanderlust for my best friend. But it was only after I had already given it up that I realized we weren’t compatible.
People We Meet on Vacation is a love story because they realize they’ve got to adapt for each other. That was not our story. I thought we’d make sacrifices for each other. Instead, I felt like I was being asked to become something I wasn’t, something that I never wanted to be. He had a clear idea of what kind of person his partner was and that person was not me. I felt it was so terribly unfair that he chose me for that role, knowing full well that that was not the sort of person I was, instead of meeting me halfway. So I lost my best friend. And then you start to wonder if you were ever truly friends to begin with, or if he was biding his time, pretending to be your friend when really he was just waiting for the opportunity to be more. It makes you wonder if your entire friendship was ever real to begin with.
So, I did the only thing I could and I ran away again. That’s where I challenge the friendship as a foundation aspect, because how can love evolve from friendship if the friendship is a lie? When Taylor Swift says ruin the friendship, I disagree. There’s usually a reason why people are friends if they’re not lovers.
On a final note: I heartily disapprove of how Poppy uses her teeth as tools and if she keeps that up she’ll have to get her veneers in Mexico like her mom’s friend Wanda. Also, why does Netflix keep doing Lucien Laviscount dirty? First Emily in Paris, now this?